Okay boys and girls. I was thinking now was as good a time as any to address the age old question about the holidays. No, I'm not going to discuss the existence of God, St. Nick, or any other religious icon. Nope, not gonna argue the "should we stay home or go away," or "my parents' or your parents' this year" argument. No way. This is neither the time nor the place for any of those hot topics. I wanna talk about how to survive the days between Halloween and New Year's Day without ending up on death row for gingerbreadman genocide or mashed potato massacres.

Let's talk about Halloween. I wish I could tell you it's a breeze to shop for hundreds of tiny, tantalizing tastes of temptations and store them in your home for the duration, but it's not. If you are a chocoholic, it is really going to suck. So, basically, you have two options. You can either face the enemy one day at a time and pray to the diet deity of your choice that you can and will survive this skirmish in the battle of your bulging backside. Or, you can win the prize of an egg wash for your car from the local kids for offering the lamest of lame Halloween treats, sugar-free candy and--egads--fruit! I'm not a big fan of each, so lemme offer you a third, drastic, choice--move out into the country so far that you don't see a freaking trick or treater for fifteen years!!!